Dirty Fantasy team names have become an integral part of many Fantasy Baseball player’s pre-season. Which one of these dirty Fantasy team names make the rest of my league laugh every time they look at the standings or get a trade request?
The football list got a few more new additions than the baseball version of dirty Fantasy team names, but that is more an effect of a clear-cut rookie class. Baseball rookies tend to be more out of nowhere or staggered entrances into the Bigs.
Nevertheless, I was able to use a few new players’ names for Not-Safe For Work content. I also was able to come up with some new ones off of general baseball terms and older players.
So here is our list of 69+ Dirty Fantasy Team Names. These are DEFINITELY NSFW. Other writers helped contribute to the list again, but I doubt they want their contributions attributed to them.
Lastly, this is all in good fun. By no means do we (SCFE) mean to offend anyone. If you are of the easily squeamish, you might want to turn back now.
69+ Dirty Fantasy Baseball Team Names
Be sure to be ready to minimize the page should anyone walk up.
Some of these are a bit of a stretch, but you have to say them out loud.
- Kopech’s and Hoes – Make sure you are pronouncing the prospect as “Koh-PETCH”
- Joey Votto’s Locos
- Backdoor Sliders
- Getting Good Wood – He might be a “Bust” candidate this year too… see what I did there?
- 99 Problems, a Pitch Ain’t One
- Gall-O The Night – A “working” Gal
- Cron’s Stomach Issues
- Cruz’n Fo’ Pitches
- Goldschmidt Myself – Bridesmaids has cornered the market on this topic still
- Bartolo’s Colon Cleanse
- Reaching on a Double
- Buehrle Legal
- Sonny Gray’s Sex Chamber
- Julio Urias Tract Infection
- McCutch Oven – If you Dutch Oven her and she stays, put a ring on it
- The Human Cespedes
- Kenta Maeda Bitch Out of Him
- Aroldis Swisher & Smoak It – For all the Rockies’ fans
- Gary (or Aaron) Dirty Sanchez
Most of these dirty Fantasy team names can be reconfigured rather easily.
- Sho-Hei Love On Me – I can’t quite put my finger on the best Otani name that is somewhat politically correct … there’s one out there though, I can feel it.
- Melky Discharge
- Glory Pujols
- Put It In Her Pujols
- Fulmer Holes – A bit of a stretch, if only it was Michael Fillmore
- Seung Hwan Oh-Face
- Slobb on My Alex Cobb
- Just the Foul Tips
- Reverse Cowgill – Too dirty for a comment
- Rusty Trumbo
- Chris Archer Back Now
- Upton’s B.J.’s – I couldn’t quite nail this one down either
- Switch Hitters
- Pitcher/Catcher Versatility
- Slamming Balls Deep … In The Outfield
- Going for Fifth Base
- Second Base Kind of Night
- Brad’s Hand Stuff – His waning relevance is hurting this name
These really walk a fine line of acceptable.
- Eaton Her Posey – I failed to notice this one until this year. I’m disappointed in myself.
- Trout’s Female Underpants
- Matt’s Hairy Bush
- Double Headers
- Shin-Soo Two Girls One Cup
- Va-J.J. Hardy – Another one with the player’s lacking Fantasy relevance
- Finding A Hole
- Hamels’ Toes
- Grab Her By the Posey – Will be relevant for at least a couple more seasons
- RBI’d For Her Pleasure
- Andrew Been-In-Titty’s
- Neftali Fel- Izzy Up
- Fister’s Fastballs
- Getting Out of the Bush Leagues – This is also called the 2000’s
Guys just get a kick out of penis jokes.
- Big Willie Calhoun – I mean, he’s short, but he’s still a big guy.
- 2 Balls, 1 Bat
- Justin Verlander’s Selfie Stick
- Big Units – He’s a Hall-of-Famer, so Randy Johnson’s nickname is always relevant
- My Wont Hangs Wainwright
- Pitches Love the Dickey
- Brad PeaCocks – This name can be turned several different ways
- Logan Forsythe’s Kin
- Rhys Foreskins – Now that he is playing every day, we can utilize his unique name a little more
- Dee Gordon’z Nuts
- Yoenis Envy
- Garrett’s Richards in a Box
- Hidden Ball Tricks
- Mike Nap-Nap-Weiner
- Aiken Balls
- Marcus Semien’s Donations
- Small Batting Gloves, Small Cups
- Swingin Big Bats
Have any more dirty Fantasy Team names that you didn’t see? Shoot them at me on Twitter, @Tomlin3. Be sure and check out the 351+ Horribly Awesome Fantasy Baseball Team Names provided by David Gonos.
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