For me, the 2015 Fantasy Football season has been comparable to the time my wife asked me to sit with her and watch Magic Mike XXL. In both cases, the reality is, I signed on knowing full well what I was getting myself into; A glass case of emotion comprised of regret, confusion, sadness, anger and moments of insecurity. Deciding which adult beverage would get me through this was just as important as deciding which players to drop each week.
Sitting on my couch, questioning my Jump Street fandom for Channing Tatum as he pranced about, I felt the same level of discomfort and betrayal as I watched Arian Foster, Le’Veon Bell and Eddie Lacy. Magic Mike XXL? Fantasy Football?Why am I doing this to myself?
Then, it happens. You pick up a David Johnson or a Buck Allen in Week 11 or 12 and you get that same twinkle in your eye your wife now has as an oiled up Tatum thrusts his way onto the stage for the final dance routine. The end is near, and you realize that even after all the regret and questionable decision making, perhaps this would somehow work out in your favor when it’s over.
The Fantasy Football playoffs are upon us so let’s see if we can continue our streak of solid advice for the home stretch. No, this isn’t going to be about dropping Matt Ryan, Philip Rivers or Eddie Lacy since we were ahead of the curve and gave you that advice a few weeks ago. A few stragglers we suggested dropping earlier in the season most likely have made their way back onto rosters (Doug Baldwin, James White, DeVante Parker) but there’s always action to be had on the waiver wire so before you get ready to add Dorial Green-Beckham or Ryan Mathews, make sure you’ve done your research and you’re ready to drop the right guy.
While Charles Clay and Antonio Andrews has their best fantasy performances in quite a while, we did pretty well with our advice last week, suggesting to drop Ryan Tannehill, Kyle Rudolph, Kendall Wright, David Cobb and Dexter McCluster.
Week 14 Players to Drop
As always, we’re playing by Talladega Nights rules here folks. If you ain’t first, you’re last!
The Brock Star Brock Osweiler, Denver Broncos
Remaining Opponents: Oakland Raiders, @ Pittsburgh Steelers, Cincinnati Bengals
Argument for keeping The Brocketeer Brock Osweiler:
You’re a Denver Broncos fan.
Argument for dropping The Brocktologist Brock Osweiler:
Brocky Balboa Brock Osweiler has now started three games for the Denver Broncos, and while their running game’s effectiveness and offensive balance have improved, The Brocket Launcher Osweiler isn’t exactly re-writing the record books (much to the dismay of 17 year old girls and residents of the fine state of Colorado).
Over the course of the last three weeks, The Brock Lobster Osweiler ranks 19th in standard scoring with a 13.4 points per game average, with his point total diminishing in each week (18, 12, 8). The remaining schedule doesn’t present any daunting challenges for the Denver Broncos and one could argue, next week’s matchup at home against the Oakland Raiders is down right quite favorable, but the case to drop Brocky Mountain High Osweiler has just as much to do with how many usable options there are at the quarterback position as it does with the myth that he’s inflated the offensive production.
There are simply too many quarterbacks with favorable matchups over the next three weeks to put faith in a guy with this many terrible nicknames.
Nickname Honorable Mention: The Brock Strap, Brockback Mountain, Sherbrock Holmes
Duke Johnson, Cleveland Browns
Remaining Opponents: San Francisco 49ers, @ Seattle Seahawks, @ Kansas City Chiefs
Argument for keeping Duke Johnson:
The next opponent for the Cleveland Browns is the 49ers and their rush defense is quite bad. San Francisco has allowed 2 or more rushing touchdowns in 36 percent of their games this season and allowed nearly half of their opponents to rush for over 130 yards. The Week 14 matchup for Duke Johnson looks excellent, most excellent.
Argument for dropping Duke Johnson:
Johnson’s other two remaining opponents, the Seahawks and Chiefs, are the complete opposite. Both teams rarely allow running backs to have fantasy success as both are in the top seven of fewest fantasy points allowed to backs.
Also, no one has ever said, “If it weren’t for my Cleveland Browns players, I wouldn’t have that fantasy football championship.” (apologies to any Josh Gordon or Peyton Hillis owners with a ring, but I’m trying to make a point here)
Devin Funchess, Carolina Panthers
Remaining Opponents: Atlanta Falcons, @ New York Giants, @ Atlanta Falcons
Argument for keeping Devin Funchess:
Funchess has scored 3 touchdowns in his last five games and Cam Newton is playing lights out. Funchess is a huge red zone target who seems to be developing rapport with Newton as the season progresses.
Argument for dropping Devin Funchess:
The Carolina Panthers face off against the Atlanta Falcons twice in the next three weeks and while that doesn’t immediately seem like a cause for concern, it is worth noting. The Falcons defense is statically one of the best against the pass, only allowing 1.2 passing touchdowns per game (6th best in the league) but it is one of the worst against the run, allowing 1.2 rushing touchdowns per game (2nd worst in the league). A team like Carolina is built to take advantage of this matchup and game flow may ultimately dictate limited opportunities for Funchess.
Sure, I like saying, “Bunchess of Funchess” as much as the next guy, but when it comes to winning, I’m not taking any chances. Wide receiver, Philly Brown returned Sunday and was immediately inserted back into the offense, playing 41 more snaps than Funchess. Between the matchups and what appears to be a limited opportunity, I can’t insert Funchess into my starting lineup with any level of trust, and when chasing a Fantasy Football championship, trust is everything.
Heath Miller, Pittsburgh Steelers
Remaining Opponents: @ Cincinnati Bengals, Denver Broncos, @ Baltimore Ravens
Argument for keeping Heath Miller:
The Pittsburgh Steelers offense is firing on all cylinders. Ben Roethlisberger is healthy once again and the rapport between Miller and Roethlisberger is much better than Miller and Landry Jones.
Argument for dropping Heath Miller:
Vernon Davis & Owen Daniels, Denver Broncos
Remaining Opponents: Oakland Raiders, @ Pittsburgh Steelers, Cincinnati Bengals
Always start your tight ends against the Oakland Raiders, right?!
Surviving in Fantasy Football is a lot like wearing a pair of pants that are a bit too snug in the crotch; you have to make those constant minor adjustments in order to prevent an embarrassing moment everyone will notice.
Sure, earlier in the season you were a fool not to take advantage of the Raiders matchup but, move your zipper and seam to the left and join me in the present. Oakland has faced Owen Daniels, Ladarius Green, Jeff Cumberland Heath Miller, Eric Ebron, Delanie Walker, Kyle Rudolph and Travis Kelce over the last 8 games and only Green and Walker walked away with a notable game.
Vernon Davis, as of Monday, is in the league’s concussion protocol and hasn’t scored a touchdown since joining the Broncos several weeks ago. Daniels, who owns the league’s worst dad haircut and is singlehandedly impeding the progress of the cool white guy movement, faced off against the Raiders earlier in season and had zero receptions for zero yards. It’s safe to label both as players to drop.
Travis Kelce (and Channing Tatum unfortunately), on behalf of the “some white dudes are cool & can dance” movement, we thank you for neutralizing the damage Owen Daniels has done.
(Side Note: In addition to Kelce being awesome, kudos to ESPN for calling out the unfair criticism of Cam Newton in recent weeks. Bold stance by ESPN Fantasy host, Robert Flores. Go RoFlo!)
Defense / Special Teams
Remaining Opponents: @ Philadelphia Eagles, @ Washington Redskins, Dallas Cowboys
Much to the dismay of Bills Mafia, Rex Ryan has not taken the Bills and transformed them into the second coming of the 1985 Chicago Bears. While still certainly formidable, the fantasy value of Canada’s favorite NFL franchise isn’t elite, yet they maintain an ownership of roughly 70% in ESPN, CBS and Yahoo leagues.
Buffalo is currently ranked 23rd in standard scoring leagues, is allowing over 23 points per game, over 100 rushing yards per game and over 250 passing yards per game.
Several weeks ago, the Bills Defense was a must add because of their attractive playoff schedule but now, much like a weight loss plan that includes a Diet Coke with every meal, what we once thought was a brilliant idea now seems ridiculous.
Honorable Mention: I’m still giving these guys another week or so
- LaGarrette Blount, RB, New England Patriots
- DeMarco Murray, RB, Philadelphia Eagles
- Danny Woodhead, RB, San Diego Chargers
- Stefon Diggs, WR, Minnesota Vikings
- Martellus Bennett, TE, Chicago Bears
Still not sold? Below is a quick rundown of players I have recommended to be dropped along with the link to the full column in that week’s headline.
- Joe Flacco, QB, Baltimore Ravens
- Alfred Blue, RB, Houston Texans
- Andre Williams, RB, New York Giants
- DeVante Parker, WR, Miami Dolphins
- Markus Wheaton, WR, Pittsburgh Steelers
- Antonio Gates, TE, San Diego Chargers
- Jay Cutler, QB, Chicago Bears
- Michael Floyd, WR, Arizona Cardinals
- Eddie Royal, WR, Chicago Bears
- Rueben Randle, WR, New York Giants
- Coby Fleener, TE, Indianapolis Colts
- Joique Bell, RB, Detroit Lions
- Bishop Sankey, RB, Tennessee Titans
- Andre Johnson, WR, Indianapolis Colts
- Nelson Agholor, WR, Philadelphia Eagles
- Roddy White, WR, Atlanta Falcons
- Colin Kaepernick, QB, San Francisco 49ers
- Matthew Stafford, QB, Detroit Lions
- Shane Vereen, RB, New York Giants
- Jonathan Stewart, RB, Carolina Panthers
- Alex Smith, QB, Kansas City Chiefs
- Tevin Coleman, RB, Atlanta Falcons
- Darren Sproles, RB, Philadelphia Eagles
- Percy Harvin, WR, Buffalo Bills
- Peyton Manning, QB, Denver Broncos
- Marcus Mariota, QB, Tennessee Titans
- C.J. Anderson, RB, Denver Broncos
- C.J. Spiller, RB, New Orleans Saints
- Alfred Morris, RB, Washington Redskins
- Doug Baldwin, WR, Seattle Seahawks
- Sam Bradford, QB, Philadelphia Eagles
- Carlos Hyde, RB, San Francisco 49ers
- Knile Davis, RB, Kansas City Chiefs
- Isaiah Crowell, RB, Cleveland Browns
- Leonard Hankerson, WR, Atlanta Falcons
- Russell Wilson, QB, Seattle Seahawks
- Ameer Abdullah, RB, Detroit Lions
- Mike Wallace, WR, Minnesota Vikings
- Jordan Cameron, TE, Miami Dolphins
- Matt Ryan, QB, Atlanta Falcons
- Teddy Bridgewater, QB, Minnesota Vikings
- Rashad Jennings, RB, New York Giants
- James Jones, WR, Green Bay Packers
- Anquan Boldin, WR, San Francisco 49ers
- Kirk Cousins, QB, Washington Redskins
- Eddie Lacy, RB, Green Bay Packers
- Brandon Bolden, RB, New England Patriots
- James White, RB, New England Patriots
- Golden Tate, WR, Detroit Lions
- Ted Ginn, WR, Carolina Panthers
- Philip Rivers, QB, San Diego Chargers
- Melvin Gordon, RB, San Diego Chargers
- Pierre Garcon, WR, Washington Redskins
- Tavon Austin, WR, St. Louis Rams
- Eric Ebron, TE, Detroit Lions
- Ryan Tannehill, QB, Miami Dolphins
- Marshawn Lynch, RB, Seattle Seahawks
- Antonio Andrews, RB, Tennessee Titans
- David Cobb, RB, Tennessee Titans
- Dexter McCluster, RB, Tennessee Titans
- Kendall Wright, WR, Tennessee Titans
- Kyle Rudolph, TE, Minnesota Vikings
- Charles Clay, TE, Buffalo Bills
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